I have been needing to put pictures up here from A-Kon Twenty and just update in general because it's been a busy last couple of months. That can all wait though.

I'm writing now because yesterday, June 25th 2009, Michael Jackson died. Just reading those words is difficult. It's like I'm reading a lie. As far back as I can remember, I've known of Michael Jackson and heard his music. It was played frequently in our household by my older sister and mom and continued when I was old enough to keep the channel on MTV during his videos and play the tapes we had on the stereo. I bought his albums as a teenager (the ones that never got very famous).

The majority of people these days are either too afraid to admit they liked or loved Michael Jackson and his music, or they really do think they hate him now. I know it is because of the child molestation accusations. And how they happened not once, but twice. While my household was filled with a lot of Michael Jackson growing up, it was also filled with the ramblings and speeches of a parent who studied criminal justice in college and spent a good deal of time profiling serial killers with a well known world wide organization. The law and the justice system are no strangers to me to say the very least. When a Jury "thinks" you're guilty, or a Judge or a prosecutor "thinks" you did it, it doesn't matter if you did not. There are so many innocent people in prison right now you could fill multiple states with them. It takes MORE evidence to prove you're innocent than it does to prove you're guilty. If Michael were even a smidgen under the innocent evidence quota, he would NOT have been found innocent TWICE. And save your "oh he paid them off" bullshit. He was not about to repeat that mistake the second time. There is pride to be found in knowing you're innocent, and the second time around Michael respected himself.

I think that Michael set himself up for the accusations to be made, but that doesn't make them true. The media made sure to bombard the populace with enough bullshit to turn a great portion of our country against one of the brightest beacons of hope we had. Michael was a shining light of good. The media does not want you to be a happy bunch of people. So when you find a diamond, you bet your ass the media will shit on it until every sparkle is gone. There was no evidence to support the accusations against Michael, but the brainwashed lemmings in this world still couldn't just leave it at that. They decided to hate Michael anyway because the media did anyway.

I don't think people realize what really died when Michael died. I'm lax in my spiritual and religious beliefs... but every once in a while I see someone and I truly think they are as close to an Angel as I may ever see in my life. Michael Jackson was one of those people. Listen to the song I put below here. Listen to those words. Michael Jackson wrote that song. A human man wrote that song. If you don't feel your heart stir when you hear that song knowing the man who wrote it and felt every word is gone now, than I feel sorry for you.

When I was at A-Kon Twenty, I hit up the AMV showing with one of Nida's friends (Chance) and we ended up being too late to get a seat. We had to stand and my feet were killing me. There was a movie theater sized projection screen at the front of the ballroom it was held in and some loud booming surround sound. The lights went down and the AMVs commenced. The first four or five weren't bad but they were pretty forgettable. And then... I heard the beginning of "Heal The World" and I almost shit myself. Someone actually did a beautiful AMV to the very song I have below. I could not control how my eyes welled up. The AMV was really good, I was hearing Michael Jackson on surround sound, and people were loving it. I was so proud of the person who made that AMV. For knowing the stigma that comes with admitting you're a fan of Michael these days and doing that anyway, and all of those people (there were hundreds in the room easily) cheering and "awww"ing at the sweet parts. The best part may have even been at the end when everyone clapped. More people clapped at the end of that video than the previous ones. I was so happy then that Chance had wanted to go to that and I'd been hungry enough to end up hunting for food with him in the first place. A few simple events set in motion that I should be standing there in that dark ballroom to watch an AMV on a wall sized screen to one of my all time favorite Michael Jackson songs. I believe there is a reason I ended up there and got to see and hear what I did. Fate? Luck? I don't know. I just don't see how I can ever dispute fate when something so perfect as that happens to me. And this soon after, Michael is gone. That experience at the AMV showing was a much more profound way to hear a Michael Jackson song than sitting alone at my computer and using ARES or YouTube to listen. It was my goodbye from him I didn't even realize was a goodbye at the time.

On Thursday, June 25th 2009, the world lost someone who loved them unconditionally and despite the pain they caused him. We lost a hero, a virtuoso, and an Angel of hope. At a time in our lives when we need hope more than anything, we took it for granted that the brightest beacon of such we had was here all along.

I love you, Michael and we will miss you. Thank you for the memories.