The first post in something I wish I'd began a long time ago. For a while I used the journal on deviantTART, but something about it felt empty. I guess it could be the fact that just like MySpace (if you're kewl, you know it, don't take offense to this), it has become a place of lies, deceit, and whoring for attention. I'm so fucking tired of how a good person can turn into such a blubbering bitch when their attention quota hasn't been filled by the end of the week.

"COMMENT ON MY PICTURES PLEASE!!!" and if we don't? "NOBODY LIKES ME OR COMMENTS ON MY PICTURES OR ART!! I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND I HATE YOU ALL!!" This kind of crap makes me sick. And it doesn't compel me to comment on their low quality cellphone self portraits any more or less than I did when I didn't comment in the first fucking place. Don't get me wrong, I love manipulating a picture of myself and displaying it for all the masses to see, but I don't have high expectations of comments or praise. It's just for fun. Some people are really losing their minds over this bullshit though. I've decided to stop using myspace and deviantart both now, neither are what they used to be (and myspace was never that great to begin with).

Oh but there is more plaguing my mind these days. I'm about to be moving to a huge fucking city. I'm intimidated. I'm going to have to get a job once I get there, and if it's anything like the last one I had, I'll end up boozing on the clock again and blowing all my money on... yep... booze. I'm not an alcoholic (denial!) no really, I'm not. But if I befriend a party person, I just always seem to end up hung over every day. Some people who know me probably wonder why I have no friends... and this is only ONE of the reasons why I keep the number to a low low minimum. I'm too irresponsible. And I don't like putting people in a position where they have to babysit me. But everyone drinks these days! It's like there is no fun to be had if alcohol isn't involved. No thanks. Plus I'm socially awkward at times and people probably find me a bit creepy.

NEWS NEWS NEWS. Beside the fact that I'm moving, Karl found a badass job and we got our marriage license today. We've been engaged for three years, and living together as a married couple for nearly all of that time. I didn't think standing in a courthouse and signing my name a couple of times on some legal document would feel so good or make me so giddy, but it did. We are going to the courthouse one town over on Monday to have the ole "justice of peace" style legal ceremony, but we're saving our medieval/fantasy themed actual wedding for later when we have some money. This afternoon we went to wal-mart and got Karl a cheap little silver band to wear around between monday when I am officially MRS. Karl Hendricks and the actual wedding. DAMN I love him.

The weekend is finally here and I need a new video game. I just finished Aveyond and Aveyond 2 from GameTap (oldschool style 2D turnbased rpg) and both were so fucking awesome they made me cry. And no, it wasn't that time of the month. The stories were both just so phenominal to me and hey, a chick wrote them! Even a guy would fall in love with these two games though. I'm sick of WoW right now (if I can keep from playing until Wrath of the Lich King comes out I will), and PotCO only appeals to my inner weapon skill and level grinder. It was kewl for a while until I hit the point where I was incapable and too many levels ahead of myself. I felt this way after I played Dreamfall too. (Ragnar Tornquist I love you!!!!!!) TLJ was awesome, but Dreamfall was SOOO FUCKING GREAT that I had trouble liking anything else for months after I beat it. It spoiled me. Now Aveyond has done the same thing. I'm at that phase where I feel like it's impossible to find a game I will love the way I love Aveyond. It's like being five on christmas, opening all your presents, and in the midst of all your satisfaction... you find out christmas is canceled for the next 2-3 years.

Andre my chihuahua gets neutered on Tuesday morning. Both the testicle in his scrotum and the one that never dropped that bulges from his tummy will be removed. Wish him luck.


*Like an unwound music box tune coming to an end, the sphere seals shut and the melody stops.*