I don't know what the hell is wrong is with me... I've puked my guts out, completely lost my appetite, got the appetite back and over ate myself into a stupor, have a migraine headache every other day... just to name a few of the problems I've been having. I have officially skipped an entire period as well and that's never happened to me before. NO I'm not pregnant. I got a pregnancy test at the hospital during my kidney fiasco and I've given myself TWO home tests just in the last two weeks. Turns out Flomax, the crap they gave me to help pass the kidney stones is absolutely horrible for women to take. It also turns out that doctors are prescribing it to ALOT of woman right now for ALOT of shit it can't possibly help. For example... for bladder incontinence. It is a medicine for bonign prostate enlargement... and that's ALL the FDA has approved it for. It is meant to dramatically increase urine flow. So why the hell would a doctor give it out for bladder incontinence? What the hell is wrong with people? Female pharmacists of birthing age are advised to handle Flomax with gloves on! Not even with their bare hands! And since I took it my life has been fucking hell.

Since my kidney problems my weight dropped almost five lbs then shot back up like seven lbs. Some days I'm so sick at my stomach I can't even stand to think about food and the next day I'm fammished all day no matter how much I eat. All of this is of course stressing me out which makes it all worse. I've always suffered from the occasional migraine but I've racked up about ten of them in one month.. whereas I used to only get one every three or four months. I've noticed I'm really light sensitive and going outside in the day time is painful to my entire head. I'm eating healthier food and drinking more water than I have in years. I thought that was supposed to make you feel better? Hell, I felt better when I drank a liter or more of dr. pepper everyday and ate nothing but mcdonald's and wendy's, not only that, I was skinnier! This is complete bullshit. I've drank so much water I never want to see water again. Where's my healthy hair? Where's my glowing complexion? Where's my strong healthy fingernails? My hair looks like shit, my skin looks the same, and my fingernails look WORSE. I am really at a point where I just want to cry non-stop. I've been bad lately... I've had trouble getting any sleep these past few nights and I've been popping sleeping pills and chugging nyquil. I don't know what else to do...

There's no point is typing out my symptoms in google. According to the internet, I could have anything from bi-polar disorder to cancer to organ failure to an allergy to the paint on my fucking walls. There's no telling and I've had my fill of doctors for a while. I think I'm gonna try a fast, or an herbal digestive cleanse. Maybe the lemonade cleanse? That one I hear can be pretty rough though. I need to do something soon... I can't live feeling like this all the time.

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