Karl and I tossed around the idea of jogging and changing our eating habits for quite some time. We finally decided to just do it already. I almost completely quit eating sugar and started drinking heaps of water. We've both cut down dramatically on portions and started trying for three small meals a day with snacks instead of the one or two huge meals we were accustomed to before. We got started on a walking and jogging program called "Couch to 5k" and are about to be on week three already. We're both already a little banged up from it (ankles and knees) but we're slowly adjusting.

Sometimes the benefits of the changes are great, but then there are the times I feel weak and over exerted. I'm struggling a bit with cravings for foods I'm trying to cut way back on too. I may relax a bit later but for now the scale is far too motivating. I've lost about four pounds and while most might not notice, I sure as hell see it.

Hand in hand with some healthier living, or perhaps even a result of, my depression has been at bay for longer than it's been in ages. The last time I can remember being this emotionally in control was when I broke up with my ex and decided to "go steady" with Karl. New love tends to easily overshadow negative emotional instability though so it's not too surprising. I've been working on my self esteem and getting as much exposure therapy as possible. There for a while, even the grocery store caused me to feel like hyper ventilating. Social phobia doesn't simply cure overnight and there are still times where an attempt to go in somewhere ends with me hitting a mental brick wall... but... I'm doing really well. I'm proud of myself.

And love? Well, since my depression subsided and I started to become a bit more outgoing, things have been amazing in my marriage. Karl's always been loving, patient, and supportive when most people would have given me the finger, and I'm extremely grateful to him for that, but, there is nothing like the feeling I get when he's proud of me for trying to change the things that made me so unhappy. He notices, he praises, it makes him happy, and he's proud. It makes for a great cycle in a marriage. When we're both happy, we treat each other like gold. It's been a long time since we've fought. We've both always been great at communicating with one another and being better off emotionally just makes it even easier. What would have once been a ten minute squabble is now a five minute disagreement that usually ends with laughter and kisses. I spent a long time taking my marriage for granted. Forgetting what great chemistry I have with this man. We're both rather soft spoken around people but it's two completely different people that emerge when we're alone. Fun and playful. Kind and passionate. Lovers.. that's a given. But we truly are best friends as well. Being with him never gets old. Conversations with him always hold my interest and even when he's talking about things I don't particularly care about, I'm still intrigued. I'm beyond lucky. I love him deeper every day.